Tempest, My Love

This is the story of Tempest, whom I’ve praised here.  Tempest is a violin. Tempest has a body (my violin), but like most persons I know, she can project herself away from her body, and is indeed not limited to dwelling inside her body.  I met Tempest in her first incarnation, in highschool, although I was in possession of what would become her second body since the sixth grade, in middle school.

You see, that eventual second body was just an instrument for its first three years in my possession.  I loved it and cared for it as any musician loves and cares for their instrument, and I believe it was that love and tender care, and deep appreciation that lured Tempest to me in the first place.

When I enrolled in the highschool Orchestra, I was assigned to a violin. The school had many lovely violins, and one violin that nobody wanted.  It had a good sound, but didn’t smell particularly good.  No one really knew why that was.  We speculated that perhaps it was a build up of rosin, but that should have only affected the bow, or so we thought.  Anyhow, this instrument was Tempest’s first body, and the instrument to which I was assigned.

In my freshman year, Tempest in her first incarnation, saw me through being seated as first chair second violin.  It was a big deal for a freshman. And she saw me through the many subsequent tests and challenges to my seat.  Obviously, my own skill had played a role in my placement, but I can’t deny that Tempest and I were meant to be partners.

When you play an instrument, at a certain point you begin to wonder if the instrument isn’t instead playing you.  Two become one flesh, one wood, one being.  It’s like a spiritual merger, and the only thing, to this day, that has topped that feeling, is being joined with Apollon, through prayer and Oracular possession.

Our partenship only grew throughout my freshman year, but by the time sophomore year rolled around, there were newer students to be placed with the school’s instruments.

I started to panic a little, as our teacher had planned to assign someone else to Tempest, since I had a very nice instrument at home already, from my previous school.  I had simply stopped using it because Tempest and I worked so well together.  It hadn’t been an issue previously, since all the violinists were paired.  But in that new year, we had one student without an instrument, so I was instructed to give up my partner.

I did what I could with my old instrument, but it was obvious to me that losing Tempest had had a negative impact.  I slipped a seat, to second chair second violin, and I worried constantly about challenges, even though I managed to win them.

This worrisome mindset went on for several weeks, until the most extraordinary thing happened:  Tempest visited me in a dream.

She manifested herself as a mature woman, with dark skin and dark, dark eyes.  She told me that she was unsatisfied with her new freshman, that she’d been waiting for years to find someone she was truly compatible with, and that she believed I was this person.  I told her that I was thoroughly distraught by the situation, to which she replied that she knew. She could feel it, because we were already connected.  When I awoke, I was in tears.

For the next days, I didn’t know how to cope with the information given to me.  There was nothing I could do, despite our longing to be together.  It was near the end of the year, and our class had a trip planned to Anaheim, CA, for performances at Disney Land.  I really don’t know how it happened, or when exactly, except that it was during the trip.  All I know for certain, is that one night after performing, Tempest was absent.  But by performance time the next morning, she was there– with me– in my old instrument.  She had abandoned her first body and claimed her second.

We were together after that for the rest of my highschool experience.  She saw me through winning my challenge to claim third chair first violin, and then on to claim my highest seat as first chair first violin.  She saw me through taking first place in regional competitions, and through solos in class performances.  We were at our very best together, and I truly believe the only reason I didn’t keep the first chair first violin seat was due to having been challenged and beaten by my friend, who was a violin prodigy, that later went on to join the city’s Symphony Orchestra.  We can do our very best, and still be reminded that there are better than us.

The saddest part of this tale, however, comes as I was to graduate.  You see, Tempest’s body belonged to the school system, not to me.  I had been her guardian for years, but the time came for me to leave her behind.

I was sick for a full week before the day came.  I placed my instrument into the storage closet, said goodbye to Tempest, and walked out of the school.  I though that was the end.  I thought I’d never play again.  I couldn’t do it without Tempest, and there was no possible way I could afford to purchase a violin of my own.  But it wasn’t the end for us.  Not by a long shot.

I awoke one day, not long after graduation, to find that Tempest had settled, albeit uncomfortably, into my guitar.  I wasn’t, and still am not, trained in the guitar, but it was either that or the banjo, and Tempest made her choice.

We fiddled around on the guitar for a few years, neither of us very satisfied, until one day, while I was working, one of my coworkers who knew I played the violin, offered me his instrument, which he never played.  It was just sitting in storage.  Of course, I accepted.  An opportunity like that doesn’t come along every day, and when I went home to tell Tempest about it, she was ecstatic.  She would finally have a proper body, once more.

My coworker brought in the instrument the next day.  I brought it home. Tempest gave it a once over to make sure it wasn’t already housing a spirit– it wasn’t– and then she claimed it as her third, and current, incarnation.

She and I have been through so much.  This is the first time I’ve ever written about it, and I’m glad I did.  So is she.  Tempest does love the spotlight, and it’s been a long time for her.  I hope to have a few repairs made to her body soon, so she and I can truly enjoy our partnership as we once did.  May it be so.  And may we always enjoy the oneness of our union.

Convo with the Generals

A little back story:  It is unanimously frowned upon for me to have friends of the type with which one would share their deepest secrets.  Not because I’m a bad person, or because I don’t try.  I try very, very hard.  But despite this, those friendships always inevitably crumble from the weight of my Heritage.  I am told that someone like me has Family, subjects, and a/Allies. Not friends.

I’m sharing (with trepidation) because we have disagreements and it’s as important to shine a light on these times as it is when we are all in accord.  I’m dealing with p/People who have opinions and agency, even if many of them are my subjects.

This is for all the Queens and Kings who think everyone in your Courts are supposed to agree with you.  They aren’t.

This is also me owning up to the fact that I may have made the mistake of holding onto something that was doomed from the start, thus causing a great deal of preventable anguish.  It is not my finest moment, to be sure, and I regret a lot of what happened.  But not everything.  Not the good parts.

Me:  So you think I did something wrong?

Consort:  It is possible to be wrong even while doing everything right, so to speak.  The point is that you knew better.

Me:  I think that’s bullshit.

Consort:  And you would be wrong.

Me:  Does everybody agree with this?  Should I have not even bothered? Should I have been cold and horrible and unfeeling and oh so above it all?

General 1:  Well, yes.  Your loneliness, even someone else’s lonliness, is not a good enough reason to close the distance that is meant to be.

Me:  See, I just do not agree that this distance is ‘meant to be’.  What is the purpose for it?

General 2:  For your own good, for your protection, and for the good of the people who interact with you.  You sit on a throne that is removed.  It is separate.  You are separate.

Me:  You all sound like Zeus.

Consort:  Yeah.  Don’t you think there’s a reason we were all gathered together for you?  It’s not like it was an accident.

Me:  He picked you because your values were in alignment with His?  I thought it was because you were supposed to protect me.  Which, by the way, good job.  *claps slowly*

General 2:  Hmmph.  He chose us because we’d tell you the truth instead of what you want to hear.

Me:  *rolls eyes*  That must be so exhausting.

General 3:  Do you think we want to make you unhappy?  You are very literally the reason for our continued existence.  It doesn’t do us any good when you’re miserable.

Me:  Then quit telling me I shouldn’t have friends.  I only wanted one.

General 3:  How many times has this happened?

Me:  Like, four times…

General 3:  Then experience should tell you to stop trying.  You hardly need us for that.

General 2:  I think she needs to stop pretending.

Me:  Pretending!?

General 2:  Stop pretending that you’re the same as them.

Me:  Oh.  My.  God.

Consort:  Don’t bring Him into this.  This is between us.  And besides, He isn’t magically exempt from Zeus’ values.

Me:  Whatever, [name redacted].  I deserve to have friends.  Our friendship was mutually beneficial.

Consort:  It was codependent.

General 1:  Do you know how bourgiose you sound right now, talking about what you ‘deserve’?  You’re a Queen.  You already have everything anyone could ever want.  Your job is to put others first.

Me:  So I don’t deserve to be happy!?

General 1:  Not at the expense of others, no.

Consort:  Look, the bottom line is you were hurting [pronoun redacted]. Your friendship was toxic to [pronoun redacted], because of who and what you are.  You’re always talking about doing the right thing, about not hurting people, about being a good Queen.  Well, a good Queen knows when to stop contributing to the suffering of others, ESPECIALLY when she calls them friend.  This isn’t about you, My love, and it never was.

Me:  *stews angrily*

Consort:  In the end, [pronoun redacted] did the right thing when you failed to.  But it was because [pronoun redacted] was in pain, much of which could have been avoided if you’d have listened to your Father.

Me:  *scoffs*  I’d say ‘I don’t believe this’, but y’all know it would be a lie.

Consort:  Don’t ever try to lie to Me, Princess.  You’re too transparent.

Me:  You don’t get to call me that right now.

Consort:  *smiling*  Forgive Me, My Queen.

***What is written above is what my spirits tell me, about my brand of Queenship.  It is entirely likely and appropriate for your spirits to tell you something different, and to expect something different from you.  My path is not yours.  Do not ever look at mine as a template for your own.***

The Allies

Originally written and published October 20, 2013.  Reposting because the Land told me to.  Howdy, Pagan Cowboy.

Pagan Cowboy, who are you?
I’ve been dreaming of you, you know.
Why are you hiding?
This land was made for you, me, and all the others.
For this is the Land of Allies.

Pagan Cowboy, you are needed.
Friendship is a stern Mother.
You know it’s true.
Yet, must we be diplomatic.
For we are the children of the Allies.

Pagan Cowboy, don’t forget your pact with the Land.
Working, and driving the herds.
A deep-rooted life, and all you ever dreamed.
But, the expectation of Friendship stands, so…
Stop hiding, Pagan Cowboy, and join your Allies.

Healing Prayer for the Polytheist Community

We, the Sisters of the Treasury of Apollon, invite you to participate in our monthly prayer chain. Be welcomed, friends. <3

The Treasury of Apollon


[Prayer should begin August 23, 2016, at or near Sunset, in your particular Time Zone]


Since July of 2014, once a month, originally on the Full Moon but now on the 21st day of each lunar month, the Sisters of the Treasury of Apollon have come together to form a prayer chain, always with the intent of amplifying our Lord Apollon’s own divine healing powers, and extending that healing toward one another, as well as toward the greater Polytheist community. With these prayers, in addition to promoting the safety, health and well-being of our Sisterhood, it is our hope to bridge gaps of understanding and tolerance toward all those who may be different from ourselves, and as always, to become beacons of Apollon’s light in this world.

Now, for the first time, we invite others in our Polytheist and Pagan communities to join their voices with our own…

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Invocation to Apollon

Well, since I fucked up the reblog, you all get a link, instead.