I was washing the dishes just now, when suddenly, an old song popped into my head, courtesy of the Wolfish Apollon. He likes to reminisce sometimes. O.o
I was listening to this as a nineteen/twenty-somethingish kid, completely oblivious to Apollon’s active role in my life. It wasn’t until years later that I finally figured out what was going on. I panicked, of course, seeing how terrifying the wolf god could be.
This song is not at all unlike what Apollon’s pursuit felt like from my perspective. I was scared, scarred and defiant, decidedly unworthy (at least in my eyes) prey. I really did not think I deserved to be noticed by the god, and I fought against his interest for a very long time. But, he is a god after all, and eventually I was just too exhausted by the unnecessary obstacles I’d placed in my own way by denying him.
Although I doubt that’s anything like what Blonde Redhead had in mind when they wrote this song, it is however what it brings to my mind. ^_^
Lyrics ~ Anything that loose would cancel itself anything that loose would
fall off my bed I knew that… but I couldn’t change it.
I made up my mind and changed my mind made up my mind and changed it
absence is good empty is reassuring absence presence submit to nothing
I’ve made up my mind and changed my mind I’ve made up my mind and
changed it absence is good empty is reassuring positive negative
submit to nothing in an expression of the inexpressible
I’m deceitful I’m dreadful I’m lazy I’m vain and vile our rendevous was
run down ~