Throughout October, and this first half of November, my schedule of ritual observances has been very trying, due to a variety of factors, both pleasant and unpleasant. There are a myriad of things I am instructed to do, and so little time and energy to meet everybody’s expectations, especially when I am also participating in such worldly affairs as providing meals to the city’s homeless in my spare time.
So, I basically let myself slip back into old patterns of inaction, to the detriment of my mental and emotional state. Sometimes I forget that this isn’t a luxury that I can just decide not to partake in, and I am heavily reminded of this after missing two or more rituals.
I get really antsy, and it becomes nearly impossible to shield myself from the emotions flowing out of the people closest to me. It gets so overwhelming, that I have to break down and sob just to ease the pressure. Not a pretty sight, let me tell you.
I don’t talk about it much (in fact, I cringe right now while I type this sentence, as I can imagine the cynical looks I’m about to get) because it is the most deeply personal and fulfilling aspect of my duties. I am a *Queen, and as such, I have certain obligations, and must tend to the welfare of the plants, animals and spirits living under my care. I can feel them tugging at me, just wanting my attention, but I often find myself too busy with affairs that seem more pressing at the time, for whatever reason. But there really is nothing more pressing than the health of the land, and when my own mental health is at stake, I always seem to remember that fact.
Well, today, in honor of that wake-up-call, I set aside my mundane chores. I even dressed in full ritual garb, complete with my modest little Crown. I opened the day with prayers, candles and incense for my Patrons and the other gods who claim the majority of my devotion. The room was alight with their presences as I lifted the Crown out of its hiding place. I hadn’t worn it in over a year, and I’d forgotten the feel of it, so much so, that I was shocked at the immediacy of my contentment. When I slipped the Crown over my veils, I felt that something that makes me do this Work, while singing, dancing and smiling, even as life becomes increasingly difficult.
So, after more prayer and praise for my gods, I finally went out and walked the perimeter of the property, while whispering words of warding and protection, and also greeting curious onlookers, like the fat squirrels who’ve recently taken up residence in a tree in the front yard. After that, I was compelled to perform a blessing upon the plot of land that will be my garden in a couple of days.
It was amazing. The rush of energy. The desire to fulfill the role. I must do all that I can to avoid becoming dismissive of my duties again. The rewards are simply too magnificent to take for granted.
Speaking of rewards, when it was all over, I just happened to spot several intact Monarch wings mingled in with the fallen leaves. I immediately thanked the spirits, then gathered them up for use later in a religious art project I have planned. It’s so amazing. I simply love what I do. <3
*Please don’t misunderstand. I claim this title for myself at the behest of the gods I serve. It is only relevant to me personally, to those gods, and to the spirits living on my property, who have accepted me in this position. By no means is anyone reading this expected or encouraged to acknowledge me as anything other than another random blogger.