I have talked a little about boundaries before, and how it is important for us to maintain them, for our health and sanity. And it is important. But, there are times when those boundaries, which we create to sustain ourselves, become more of a hindrance than a help. If it helps you to cultivate your own dominance, strength and/or Sovereignty, then the boundary is serving you, as it should. If, instead, it is keeping you in a neat little box of unending comfort, then you are serving it. And in that case, it is no longer a healthy boundary, but has become a stifling limitation.
I have actually been thinking a lot about my boundaries, as building and maintaining them has been a central theme in my Work for, and with, Apollon. Being too open, never saying “no”, and always taking on the responsibilities of others (who should be quite capable of managing their own affairs) was quite possibly the first thing I was Told to change. And indeed, I get that lecture a lot more often than I’d like to admit, publicly. For me, saying “no” (and sticking to it) is challenging. It is uncomfortable. It is necessary. But it can also be taken too far.
For instance, the divination that I’ve recently begun offering as a part of my service and training… I was Instructed to start doing so way back in October of 2011. But, did I listen? Nope. I said “no”. It was “too scary”. I had just started the blog and was afraid of the responsibility inherent in the task, as well as the reactions from random strangers. All meaningless excuses, of course, but still I refused, using that little word hardly uttered throughout most of my life. I thought that serving the spirits of the Land would be enough, that focusing any attention upon human affairs would disrupt my life and practice, and I ended up shoving myself into a box because of it. I used flimsy excuses to cage myself within my own hard-fought boundaries, and was in the end, limited by them.
I also lived in an extremely rural area, which made it that much easier to sequester myself within the boundary of my own Land, to not care as much about what was happening outside of my small corner of the world. And you know what? The Land knew it. I had become a hermit, which was never really supposed to be my role. And that is when the dreams started.
New Lands awaited me in these dreams. New Lands, with new spirits to befriend, and from whom I could learn, if I tended the relationships properly. It was all very puzzling, because on one hand, it hadn’t occurred to me that I might actually leave, one day. But, on the other hand, I had never really thought that I would live there for the rest of my life.
Where I am now is just as lush and beautiful and filled with spirits as the place I left. The main difference, is that there are people here. The Land brims with the synchronized energy of human, animal, and spirit. It is a totally new ballgame for me, one which pushes against my boundaries and stretches the level of my comfort beyond anything I’ve experienced in a very long time. We have to be pushed outside of our own comfort zones on a regular basis. That is something that I had to learn, that I am learning, even now.
This was not, of course, the only reason for my move. Mundane necessities, such as working to earn money for food and bills, are much more easily done here, and indeed, they too push me in ways that I don’t always like. But it’s worth it.
I am a mother and wife, in addition to being a bride/possession of Apollon. I was mother and wife before I acknowledged my Prince’s claim, and thus, I am allowed to fulfill those duties in addition to those required by my Lord. Perhaps the pushing of my boundaries looks a bit more mundane than that of the average spirit-spouse, but one thing I’ve come to learn about the way Apollon works, is that He will use any, and all, life situations as teaching moments. I have had a lot of those lately, as well as having been utilized much more frequently by my Lord for the fulfillment of various tasks. And trust me, it is not all sunshine and roses.
So, yes. I think we all should do what is best for ourselves, as dictated by our gods, and our own individual interests. However, to become so dependent upon one’s boundaries can be very limiting, and even detrimental to our spiritual development. In a nutshell: Walk your Path, but don’t forget to go off-roading every once in a while.