You Are The Bridge That Burns…

A bridge between the worlds. That is how Apollon described me, one day. Then, He added that I was “burning over the waters of truth and knowledge”. I have often visualized myself as the wick of a candle, lit with holy fire to illuminate the darkness. Am I a burning thing? I think so. Before I had discerned my name, I called myself Fire, and Dionysos was pleased. And now, I know that my name is Laurel, which is burned in honor of my Lord. I have many faces, I wear many masks, but deep, on the inside, I am the burning. The fire, the purity, that raging heat.

Those who know me personally might say that I am intensely quiet. I watch. I listen. But, inside, I’m dancing like a wildfire. People think they know me, but what they think they know is an illusion. It has always been so. I rejected Christianity at the age of four. It made no sense to me. Instead, I listened to the wind, and I danced with the storm, and I raged, just as a wildfire does.

Yesterday, on the news, I saw a fire-twister, and I thought, “I am that”. Yes. That is what I am. A fire-twister, an amalgamation of wind and flame. I fuel myself, and I purge the unnecessary with my words.

My closest friends have called me blunt, cutting, candid. I never fail to give them the truth, whether they want to hear the truth, or not. It doesn’t matter. I am a burning thing. I will destroy their pretense with a word, or a look, or the turn of my head, because that is my nature.

My family has even called me mean. I disagree. I am not vindictive, but I can not lie. Not when they want me to. I do not mince my words to those I love. That is not the way of Apollon, and I am a traveler upon His road.

Fire is contained by the consent of its own will. Humans think they control the fire, but they control only their perception. When you place your hand near the flame, it warms. In the flame, however… It’s all a matter of one’s own senses. What do you sense when you read my words? Think hard, and watch the fire dance…


12 responses to “You Are The Bridge That Burns…

  1. Reading this was more than a little weird for me, because there were several points where I could have sworn you’d lifted the words right out of my brain–particularly the “intensely quiet” description. Another case of Bizarro Twin mindmeld? ;)

    • I can only assume so, Lebannen. You and I are eerily, freakishly similar, in so many respects, that this does not surprise me, nor would anything else, for that matter.

  2. seastruckbythecrossroads

    This post… inspires deep thoughs, partly because it sounds with the part of me that has always been obsessed with being true to myself, above everything else, be it convenience or friendliness. And partly because I see myself in Water as much you do into fire – I can seem remote and still, but deep inside myself I am always moving and and feeling and lapping at new shores. There’s a duality in that finds so much resonance in my path with Apollon and I may to have a post in miNd for that, but I don’t know if I quite have the words yet.

    • I’ll be looking forward to your post, whenever the words come. Water is an interesting element, and I’d love to hear more of your associations with it. I have a love of it, which may be why I always end up living next to a body of water, but that might also be Lord Poseidon’s influence.

      • seastruckbythecrossroads

        Out of curiousity, have you tried to exploit your affinity for fire in spellwork? I accidentally noticed, once i was working in a 4-days, elements-based ritual, that my water-based part of spellwork packed quite the extra punch when compared to the elements… since then, I keep wondering about how i can go about using this more in my practice, but I have not really worked it out yet.

      • I used to do way too much than I was prepared for, regarding fire in spells, when I was a lass. I learned my lesson when, after an intense fire meditation, my apartment building burned to the ground. It wasn’t necessarily my fault, as the fire began in a lower level apartment where the guy had a meth lab, but still. I opened the doorway, and did not sufficiently close it, and the rest is history. So, I’m very wary of fire in spells, and I don’t try to put more fire energy in anything than what is specifically called for. Fire is dangerous. Fire burns everything, and human lives are no exception.

  3. Sounds familiar, your words are a poignant mirror.

  4. Never surprised as I could feel it from the start. It is a strange “paradox” that you can hold such an intense flame without “overflooding” it. You feel quiet indeed, and yet your words reveal the intensity behind, and sometimes I fear you anger for I feel it could be terrible. ;) I feel close to this mirror hidden the flame inside…

    • *sigh* My anger… It is a thing that I very carefully avoid. My emotions run so intensely already, that I just stay away from most things that would actually anger me. And I’m pretty patient, so rarely need to deal with true anger. It’s so funny you should mention that. I kind of had a breakdown of my patience yesterday, but was able to contain it before I *really* lashed out. Yikes!