Many Layers

When Apollon speaks, His words are rigid and stinging, like an onion, and even more so due to the many layers of meaning behind them.  Oftentimes He weaves the meanings together so you can never quite tell which one He means, until after one or another has come to pass.  But sometimes, when you look deep into yourself, meeting your many expectations and fears head-on, you can see which possibilities are only mirrors for past failures, and which are worthy of striving toward.

He loves in layers, also.  His love is like a warm blanket, but with a static charge; soft, and clingy and maybe a little painful.  But when you are still, it holds the most comforting warmth imaginable.  When you peel the blanket away, the sting of static may distract you until the brisk air moves across your skin.  Then you remember that this, too, is another layer of Apollon’s love.

The distance.  The cold.  The loneliness.  You hear and feel only yourself. But you begin to shine in the darkness when you remember His warmth, comforting you, and you are illuminated from within.  Therein exists a relic of His touch, perhaps, and by this glorious light you can not escape self-examination, because the only thing you can see at all is yourself.

Looking into ourselves, we may be faced with questions of worth, questions of skill, questions of ambition, and so on.  But these are the questions that mold Apollonians, yet must we not forget that the answers are what temper us.  The answers are what truly make us great.  We are steel, repeatedly heated, folded, then cooled; made into a hard and useful metal.  Layered.

All life is an obstacle to be overcome.  But how do we overcome?  There are no standard answers.  The way in which I overcome is through stillness.  I let the waves pass over me.  I do not struggle.  I ride the storm– and the storm breaks, leaving behind only me, in my stillness.  This doesn’t mean that I expect to survive, of course, for what expectations can I, who am bound to Apollon, truly hope to fulfill?  Only His expectations.  If it is His will that I be destroyed in the seeking of greatness for Him and for our Family, then it shall be.  If His will lay elsewhere, then there is no reason to fear the storm.  It can not harm me.

In this way, I overcome my ego’s incessant need to know, to dictate, to act. I am not my ego.  I am the purity of Self which radiates out of this human form, thus I am Divine.  And so we all are, especially those who have been touched, those who are illuminated from within by the love of a God.

Love has many layers, and many moods.  Remember that moods change, like the weather and like the tides– and the Seasons, also.  The Seasons are changing again.  Apollon is returning soon.  So, if you feel cold and lonely now, depending on what His expectations of you are, you may soon be lamenting His enveloping heat, rather than His distant, frosty chill.

And His words are coming again, themselves stinging and stringent… and soothing and enlightening.  Apollon Himself is many things, made up of many layers, and He will cover us in them until we adapt, or suffocate.

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One response to “Many Layers

  1. Alexis Sólveig Freysdóttir

    this is really… really great! You took the words so deep out of my heart, Columbine. I don’t know how you did it… an I see that we share a way that may be hard to understand for people who are not bound to Him.
    But this layers, yes I know them.