I find myself in a vulnerable place in my life and spirituality right now. As I work to integrate the spiritual realms into every possible aspect of living in this world, the immersion itself becomes easier, yet the politics involved with attending to my responsibilities becomes even more complex.
The Waiting Ones, the largest grouping of spirits under my authority, are much more active now than they ever have been. Since I’ve come to acknowledge and accept them, they’ve begun to awaken and to blossom into beautiful, deadly flowers in my garden. They, wild for so long, yet kept in check by the Will of my Father and Others, are now reaching out into this world, through me. I have become their bridge, and as their bridge, I connect them to the Land so that they may manifest here.
I don’t think they’ve ever been happier than they are now, in my care. It was a long time coming, too. I admit that I’ve made mistakes, and as a human person, will continue to do so, on occasion. I am not perfect, whatever that actually is, but as long as I please them and serve them to the fullest of my ability as their Queen, it doesn’t matter. I don’t have to be perfect. I only have to be Columbine.
In being myself, completely, and not glossing over aspects of my own personhood, I am able to see a little bit of why I was given to these spirits. I was made for them, and they chose me the moment they agreed to the terms of service, without even having met me, because when most of them entered into the agreement, I was at least a few hundred years from being born in this incarnation (but I suppose that’s another story entirely).
I’m a little bit mean, a little bit haughty, and maybe even a smidge possessive and territorial. These are qualities that my particular spirits need in a Queen, even if they’re not exactly looked upon as assets in this world. Those that cleave to me, who belong to me, are mine, and I’m not about to let go of the leash.
Another thing my Father has been slowly, ever so slowly, grooming me for is making connections with other humans that in some ways parallel my connections to the spirits. If anyone remembers my early blogging days, they know I have pushed this potentiality to the side more often than not, dismissing it as impossible, or simply as a mild delusion. Well, that’s no longer the case. The jig is up, as they say, and I think I am at last able to consider it on a case by case basis. After all, humans are spirits, too. They may be incarnate on Earth right now, but still need to have their spirits fed.
Mostly, I’ve found that the Gods Themselves are the ones doing the feeding, but occasionally, there comes along someone whose needs are best served by a living Queen. So, I serve when I am called, and it gives me joy and satisfaction to know that I am doing the Work which my Father had intended for me, from long ago.
Of course, this contentment, joy and satisfaction doesn’t end all of the fear involved in such an endeavor as ruling. It is a position of ultimate responsibility, and as a Sovereign Queen, I take it very seriously. My role is not really to rule in any overt manner, but rather to gently guide or push when the situation calls for it. How I handle the Waiting Ones is inherently different to how I would handle a fellow human, and rightly so.
Firstly, there isn’t a human alive today who is required to listen to me, or follow my advice or pronouncements. All is given freely, by the Will of my Father, and those who choose to listen are those who’ve sought me out on their own. I fulfill a purpose, as do they, and together we are joined in our purpose. This, I am Told, is how Courts are built, both here and in Other Worlds.
So, to fear ruling is to be aware of the consequences of one’s rule. All of the good, and all of the bad, must be taken into account, accepted, and even cherished for the experience one gains from it. Gaining knowledge is in the process of learning, and I am learning new things all the time, thanks to the Waiting Ones, and to new and established connections, alike. And though my life hasn’t gotten any easier, it has become more meaningful, if not all the time more enjoyable.