What’s it like to be Apollon’s?

It’s like kintsugi, the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery with gold or silver, and you are the pottery, of course.  There are lots of ways you could be kept, also.  But when the time comes and He decides to take you down from the shelf you were placed upon, pristine and untested, you will learn of the range of treatment you may receive at His hand.

Sometimes, He likes simply to fill His vessels and to see them glow with His light as they sit upon that shelf.  Sometimes, He prefers to use His vessels like a favorite teapot, constantly filling, heating and pouring its contents out over the world.  And yet sometimes, through distraction or mischief, He drops His vessels, leaving them cracked, broken or even shattered.

When this occurs, we can easily blame Him, or we can blame ourselves for not being some kind of “enough” to prevent it.  But really?  Really?  Is a/Anyone really to blame?  I think there are parts of His personality that humans do not like, or desire to confront.  But they are still parts of Him, and these parts can be seen and felt as uncaring, unemotional, distant or calculating.  I can understand this point of view, since I did share it for a long time.  But now, after having experienced that dropping and shattering more than once in His care, I can see Him for what He is in these times.

Apollon the Genius, Apollon the Eccentric, Apollon the Perfectionist, whose every movement is a calculated step in His kosmic dance.  Even flats and sharps have their place in the score that He composes.  So, if He drops us, He does it for a reason.  And sometimes that reason is just because He wants to repair a broken vessel, before seeing it shine anew.

He will then meticulously place each broken shard back into it’s rightful order, adding the gold lacquer to fill in any open spaces.  After the process is complete, what He holds in His hands is in many ways far superior, and far more valuable to Him than what He started with.  The once unbroken-then-broken pot has become a symbol of His love and devotion, and also of the art with which He crafts His masterpieces.  Indeed, we are each a masterpiece of His making, but once we’ve reached this point, there could very well come a time when Apollon is not the only one admiring His many masterpieces.

These are very hard times for those who are, or have been His.  The love that He shows and uses to repair or remake those who are His, reveals us in all our unique beauty to the outside world, and those Others who also inhabit the world.  Sometimes, even just sitting upon that shelf, we attract Their attention.

And when it happens, we think we’ll just fall again into pieces.  But we don’t. We have been remade, after all, and are stronger now than we ever have been before.  This strength is evident in the gold joining our previously separated parts.  It is evident in the light and glory that Apollon has left inside us.  So, even if the time comes when He decides to relinquish possession of one of His many fine gold-lacquered pots, we can at least know that a part of Him will always be present with us.

A part of Him– a very loving and attentive part of Him– will always be there to remind us of the strength which fortifies us, and allows us to continue moving forward in life, and to continue being useful to Whomever we may encounter, or may now be tied to.  It isn’t always easy, being Apollon’s. Sometimes, it’s downright terrifying, because one must always face reality with Him.  And one reality is, that once touched by Him, we’ll always be beautiful, but there is no guarantee that we will always be His.  So, cherish the moments that He spends with you, never take them for granted, and please, please love Him, even as He places you upon a shelf, or into the hands of Another.

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4 responses to “What’s it like to be Apollon’s?

  1. This is beautiful, even at its bittersweet points. Thank you for sharing your love for Apollon with us — as well as parts of your own personal journey. It can be difficult to share private moments for the reflection and consumption of others.