Category Archives: Family

The Land of Two Rivers, and Beyond

Blood and rain.  Fish and rivers, and the sea.  Bobcats and javelinas.   Nereids and hamadryads.  Mesquite wood and fire ants.  Feral cats and grackles.  Sunshine and sea winds.  Peaches and figs, and cicadas. Dead soldiers and Spanish missions.  Sand dollars and jellyfish.  Live oaks and palm trees.  Foxes and road runners, and rattlesnakes.

These are the jewels of my path, local to South Texas.  This is my home, and these are my allies.

My path is a local one, where I concentrate on the needs of the lives lived around me.  When I offer to the sea, it is on behalf of the humans here who know not the price for the bounty they take.  It is to give thanks, and to celebrate the creatures and spirits who dwell here, those who make it possible for us to make a living here.

When I raise my arms to the Theoi it is in acknowledgment of the great tapestry They have woven around me; to celebrate Them and to honor Them, and to remind myself of all They hold dear.  This place is alive.  I am alive.  And we are paired to live our lives together.

When I pour wine and blood onto the Earth, it is so the grain and corn will thrive.  When I go to pick cotton out of its rugged husk, it is to feel what my ancestors felt, and to leave bits of myself in the field so they are not alone, and not forgotten.  When I pick flowers for offerings, it is to remind myself of the beautiful things which were plucked, in their ripeness and in their prime, all for the sake of a world gone by.

Those times that I stood upon the widow’s walk of the white mansion, it was to tell the spirits of my people, “I see you.  I remember you.  The masters are gone, and I am here.”

And when I give milk, now even the milk of my own body, it is to assure the Land that I will nourish it, as it nourishes me and mine.  Because I am the Land.  I am the Rivers.  I am the Sea and the Wind.

When I leave seed for the grackles, I know they are my brothers.  When I leave meat for the night creatures, I know they are my sisters.  When I fill the hummingbird feeders, and see the shrimp plants bloom, I know that my family is welcomed.  We are the spirits of the Land, and we rely on one another.

When I wade in the salt water, I know that I am purified.  And when I call to the Gods, I know that They are listening.  Poseidon.  Amphitrite.  Apollon.  Ares.  Zeus.  And Others still.  They hear me.  They know me.  They favor me and mine.

And when I take my children to greet Them upon the sparkling sea water, I feel Their many blessings, and Their encouragement, as surely as I feel the wind blow.  As long as we do our part to honor the Gods, the spirits, the Land, the Rivers, the Sea and the Wind, They will do Their part to keep us safe and fed.  Together, we are the reciprocal bond.  We are kharis.  We are life.  We are this world.

We are the Land of Two Rivers, and beyond.


Convo with the Generals

A little back story:  It is unanimously frowned upon for me to have friends of the type with which one would share their deepest secrets.  Not because I’m a bad person, or because I don’t try.  I try very, very hard.  But despite this, those friendships always inevitably crumble from the weight of my Heritage.  I am told that someone like me has Family, subjects, and a/Allies. Not friends.

I’m sharing (with trepidation) because we have disagreements and it’s as important to shine a light on these times as it is when we are all in accord.  I’m dealing with p/People who have opinions and agency, even if many of them are my subjects.

This is for all the Queens and Kings who think everyone in your Courts are supposed to agree with you.  They aren’t.

This is also me owning up to the fact that I may have made the mistake of holding onto something that was doomed from the start, thus causing a great deal of preventable anguish.  It is not my finest moment, to be sure, and I regret a lot of what happened.  But not everything.  Not the good parts.

Me:  So you think I did something wrong?

Consort:  It is possible to be wrong even while doing everything right, so to speak.  The point is that you knew better.

Me:  I think that’s bullshit.

Consort:  And you would be wrong.

Me:  Does everybody agree with this?  Should I have not even bothered? Should I have been cold and horrible and unfeeling and oh so above it all?

General 1:  Well, yes.  Your loneliness, even someone else’s lonliness, is not a good enough reason to close the distance that is meant to be.

Me:  See, I just do not agree that this distance is ‘meant to be’.  What is the purpose for it?

General 2:  For your own good, for your protection, and for the good of the people who interact with you.  You sit on a throne that is removed.  It is separate.  You are separate.

Me:  You all sound like Zeus.

Consort:  Yeah.  Don’t you think there’s a reason we were all gathered together for you?  It’s not like it was an accident.

Me:  He picked you because your values were in alignment with His?  I thought it was because you were supposed to protect me.  Which, by the way, good job.  *claps slowly*

General 2:  Hmmph.  He chose us because we’d tell you the truth instead of what you want to hear.

Me:  *rolls eyes*  That must be so exhausting.

General 3:  Do you think we want to make you unhappy?  You are very literally the reason for our continued existence.  It doesn’t do us any good when you’re miserable.

Me:  Then quit telling me I shouldn’t have friends.  I only wanted one.

General 3:  How many times has this happened?

Me:  Like, four times…

General 3:  Then experience should tell you to stop trying.  You hardly need us for that.

General 2:  I think she needs to stop pretending.

Me:  Pretending!?

General 2:  Stop pretending that you’re the same as them.

Me:  Oh.  My.  God.

Consort:  Don’t bring Him into this.  This is between us.  And besides, He isn’t magically exempt from Zeus’ values.

Me:  Whatever, [name redacted].  I deserve to have friends.  Our friendship was mutually beneficial.

Consort:  It was codependent.

General 1:  Do you know how bourgiose you sound right now, talking about what you ‘deserve’?  You’re a Queen.  You already have everything anyone could ever want.  Your job is to put others first.

Me:  So I don’t deserve to be happy!?

General 1:  Not at the expense of others, no.

Consort:  Look, the bottom line is you were hurting [pronoun redacted]. Your friendship was toxic to [pronoun redacted], because of who and what you are.  You’re always talking about doing the right thing, about not hurting people, about being a good Queen.  Well, a good Queen knows when to stop contributing to the suffering of others, ESPECIALLY when she calls them friend.  This isn’t about you, My love, and it never was.

Me:  *stews angrily*

Consort:  In the end, [pronoun redacted] did the right thing when you failed to.  But it was because [pronoun redacted] was in pain, much of which could have been avoided if you’d have listened to your Father.

Me:  *scoffs*  I’d say ‘I don’t believe this’, but y’all know it would be a lie.

Consort:  Don’t ever try to lie to Me, Princess.  You’re too transparent.

Me:  You don’t get to call me that right now.

Consort:  *smiling*  Forgive Me, My Queen.

***What is written above is what my spirits tell me, about my brand of Queenship.  It is entirely likely and appropriate for your spirits to tell you something different, and to expect something different from you.  My path is not yours.  Do not ever look at mine as a template for your own.***

Feeling Trapped

I find myself having somewhat of a Family crisis.  I know where my religious/spiritual loyalties are, but some weeks ago a God whom I love and cherish deeply (not Apollon) decided I should be made aware of some of His nastier traits.  We’ve always had a close relationship, so it’s difficult for me not to judge this behaviour and these attitudes that I was previously unaware of.  I don’t like it, and it’s coloring my opinion of Him in a very negative way.

It isn’t only my life that has been affected, and if it were only me, maybe I wouldn’t feel so torn about it.  I’m having a very hard time watching events unfold, and watching Him hurt a dear friend of mine with His attitudes.  I realize that there is nothing I can do to help.  I realize this now only after having tried, unsuccessfully, to help for a few months.  I got nowhere, except driven into a situation that I didn’t want to be in.  He says I would have ended up there no matter what I did, or didn’t do, because it was His choice that I be placed in that situation.

So now I’m stuck.  I have to do what He says, because it’s my place.  And I have to interact with Others whom I despise because that’s what He wants.  I’ve pretty much given up on making a difference in my friend’s situation, and even in my own.  I can’t even renounce my position and walk away from everything.  I have never felt so trapped before.

I really don’t know what to do.  So, I suppose the only thing I can do now is wait to see what happens.  Not that I have any faith in a good outcome…  I mean, He’ll get what He wants.  He always does.  But, whether or not it’s good for me is debatable.  I’m not sure I matter that much to Him anyway for my well-being to even be a blip on His radar.

Maybe this was a long time coming.  Before this started, I’d only ever interacted with Him being very loving and understanding.  Maybe I just overlooked these parts of Him that I’m becoming acquainted with now.  Maybe I didn’t know Him as well as I thought I did.  Maybe I never will.

The Princess Path

Disclaimer:  Though I use the terms Princess, Queen and priestess throughout this post, please do understand that I mean also Prince, King, Regent and priest. There is no gender bias here.  Look elsewhere for gender bias.  Thank you.

I have seen so many memes dissing Princesses recently that I just can not hold my tongue any longer.  My own distaste for these memes coupled with my Father’s epic eye-rolling encourages me to state this once and for all.

The Princess Path is a valid spiritual path!  I repeat.  The Princess Path is a valid spiritual path!

The path of the Princess is different than the Path of the Queen or priestess. They all share some similarities, but diverge in many important ways.  They may be walked in congruence with one another, or they may be walked separately,  and they all entail varying degrees of Sovereignty.  But no matter what they have in common or what they do not, it is a mistake to think that one is inherently more powerful/valuable than the others.

I am a Princess and a Queen.  The former is a title and office springing from my relationship with Zeus and is very much a role of support for the King. The wisest leaders often delegate responsibilities to those capable of handling them well, and this is no different than the King handing certain instructions to priestesses dedicated to Him.  In the case of someone like myself, who holds a Father/child relationship with the King, the title or office may be different, but the concept remains similar.  Another role that Princesses may fulfill is that of adviser, or rather, someone who’s motives in offering advise can be trusted.

Queens are a bit different, but not much so.  A Queen may be so because of her consortship with a Divine King, or she may be Sovereign in her own right. Queens often hold their own courts, but not always.  Likewise, a Princess may hold her own court on behalf of her Royal Parent, or she may simply live as a member of her Parent’s court.  None of these situations have any bearing on the amount or depth of the Work being done by the Princess, Queen or priestess.  You are not lesser for being who and what you are.

So, whatever it is that you do for your Royal Parent, whether it’s just listening and offering a perspective, or going out and hearing the people on Their behalf, or whatever, you are doing it right.  Don’t let the naysayers and people wanting to be clever on FB or wherever else tell you otherwise.  You are important as you are.  You are valued as you are.  You do not have to become a more “grown-up” version of yourself, or change the name of your path or office or position to satisfy the whims of people on the internet.

I will now end this short post with the words of my Father, Zeus, King of Olympos:

“Be you, Princess.  Be strong, Princess.  Hold your head high, and walk your path, Princess.”

What Kind of Queen Am I?

Someone recently communicated to me: “You’re not a queen because you say you’re married to Apollo and he isn’t a king.  You can’t be one anyway because nobody cares about you.”

Wow with the assumptions in those statement.  Number one, Apollon is not the King of Olympos, Zeus is.  Zeus is the High King, but all of the Olympians are Kings and Queens in Their own right.  So, Yes, Apollon is a King.  He is King of Hyperborea, for starters, along with several other realms.  You wouldn’t say Poseidon isn’t a King, or that Hades isn’t a King, would you?  Or maybe you would, and maybe I need to get out of the way because that’s sure to cause some friction.

Anyway, Yes, Apollon is a King, and I am a Queen.  But guess what?  I am not a Queen by virtue of my marriage to Apollon, sacred though it is.  I was born a Queen, because I am Sovereign.  I rule my Court and my Territories because they are mine.  My work with my spirits is my own work.  Apollon is here to support me if I need Him– just as I am for Him, but He has His own duties, and those duties often separate u/Us by time and distance.  w/We are two Sovereign persons in a married relationship because we, 1) are in love, and 2) o/Our Father arranged u/Us.

Yes.  My marriage to Apollon was arranged.  He certainly made it known that I was His desire, but it never would have happened if Zeus hadn’t not only consented, but wanted us paired together from the beginning, for His reasons. I am Zeus’ daughter before I am anything else.  My Territories are subordinate to Zeus and Hera, and only Them.  Apollon can’t tell me how to run my Court, and He doesn’t try.  Just like I don’t tell Him how to run His affairs.

Does this sound unusual?  It might be, but I doubt it.  Those of us who are born to Divine Families are often the product of generations worth of negotiations between Them and Other families.  In my case, an extinct clan of Dragons claims me as their Heiress, their Queen, their Divine Mother reborn. I am who I am.

Of course, that means I was a Queen already at the age of thirteen when I first began interacting with many of the spirits who make up my Court.  (Those who know me off the internet will remember the knives and dragons hanging on my wall as a teen.  Those were all inhabited by dragon spirits.  They will also recall *that* dragon dream I told everybody about.  Spooky-woo comes true, you guys.)  It means I was a Queen already when I was a Wiccan trying to navigate the Wiccan assumption (popular at the time) that only a woman of a certain age could be a Queen, because it was thought to be a purely biological process, leading to eventual Croning.

Thankfully, I never allowed that to deter me.  I even confessed to a so-called ‘bestfriend’ who acted like they sincerely cared, but when I told them I was a Queen after they prompted me to, the silence was deafening.  They might as well have just said “Yeah right,” and patted me on my daft little head. It was at that moment that I decided to say fuck it, and I started this blog, formerly called Queen Without A Court, because, even if I was ready to claim the title and the work, I was still in denial about having my own subjects.

And who are my subjects?  I used to say, mostly dead humans and dead dragons with a small number of nature and other spirits, and one Deity-level Being who shall remain nameless.  Now there is a considerably greater number of living dragons, so now my subjects are mostly dragons living in Other realms.  And that’s all I’m going to say about that.  My people desire tranquility and the freedom of making a living beyond all else, so while I do know where several of my Territories are, there will be no locations given (and no guarantee that I could even describe locations in any way you could interpret), so please do not ask.

So, in answer to the question, “What kind of Queen am I?”  I’m Columbine, a Dragon/spirit Queen who claims no authority over living humans or a/Anyone or anything outside of my very specific jurisdiction.  Anyone claiming that I’ve ever said otherwise is smoking something, and it’s not the good shit.

Until next time, friends.