Category Archives: My Life

I’m Not Dead, But I’m Not Here

Hello, all!

I’m only popping in here to tell you, that if anyone still has any interest in what I’m up to, or my writing and what-not, then the best only place to do that, is on my Patreon page.  It sure would be nice to see you there.  Check out my Courtesy Tier (and the others), but I will occasionally still post publicly.

Take care, dear readers.  I’ll miss you.

With Love,
Columbine

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Seems Like This Is It

Hello, friends.  I’m just coming here today to let everyone know that I will likely not be returning to this blog, at least not in the near or far future.  For those of you who do not know, I have had an issue with an online stalker for about eight years now.  Basically, since the day I debuted this blog, some random person who does not even know me, has had it in for me.  Over these years, the attacks on my various email and social media accounts have gotten to the point where I no longer wish to interact with anyone.  So, you all get to keep my past posts, since I’m not closing the blog down completely, but there won’t be any new content for some time, if at all.

I really appreciate everyone who ever found value in what I do, or what I’ve written.  I appreciate all the wonderful conversation, and the friends and acquaintances I’ve met.  But I can’t do this anymore.  The constant harassment is too much, and now I have to choose my mental health and peace of mind.  I have locked down or deleted all of my social media, and will not be accepting any new persons on my lists.  I have also removed the Divination Services page from this blog.  I don’t have it in me with all of this going on.

So, congratulations to whomever orchestrated this.  You’ve finally pushed me out of the community.  Well done.

Blessed Pythias’ Day!

Hail to Apollon!  Hail to the Pythias!

In my household, the first day of November is celebrated as Pythias’ Day, wherein we honor those women who were Apollon’s Oracles at Delphi, in antiquity.

The traditional offerings (in accordance with my family’s traditions) for this day are olive oil, honey, milk, water, and cinnamon incense, along with a tall pillar candle as a focal point to represent them, as a whole.  And lastly, a new perfume.  However, this year I had to forgo the perfume for budgetary reasons.

Taken together, these are an offering that I find profound in their simplicity.  The Pythias crave their recognition.  More so than any of us claiming their title for ourselves, they demand real recognition for their work and devotion, and so long as we give that to them, I find that they are at peace.

So, praise to them, and Blessed Pythias’ Day.

The Purifying Art

Today, a brief conversation with one of my Treasury Sisters via social media has brought my mind to the subject of purification, especially that which I do, or rather, that which I haven’t done enough of, for Apollon.

My relationship with Apollon is founded on many things; our desires, our Father’s desires for u/Us, the realities of our responsibilities coexisting and being balanced together, and more.  But it is also founded on a motto:  Absolute Purity.

I lived by this motto for a long, long time, through some of the most vile and impure situations of my life.  I kept a strict prayer schedule.  I kept my myself clean and free of miasma in body and mind.  However, there came a time when going through the motions was no longer carrying me through the purification process to His satisfaction, so I was instructed to set it aside for a time.  I did so, and I relaxed into a new state of being, one in which the rigorous pursuit of purity was no longer the pinnacle of our relationship.  I still did the little things, khernips and the occasional ritual bath, but the motto of Absolute Purity did not at that time, and since, rule my life as it once had.

The conversation I mentioned above struck a nerve with Apollon, possibly because I was lamenting His request to shave my head again.  I haven’t shaved in almost four years, since the last time I did so for Him.  I have been enjoying growing out my hair, and even feel a bit vain about it.  I can see that that is a problem.  Vanity is not attractive.  Pride in one’s appearance can be, but those are different things, with different connotations.  So, I am having a discussion with Apollon about where this knowledge takes me.  I know I need to sit with it for a while, to really process the probable direction of my coming focus.  Right now, I do not feel ready to reembark upon the strict nature of my purificatory obligations.  I am not in the best physical, mental or emotional health, to say nothing of the spiritual.

My Otherworld life is chaos, at the moment.  I have had many things thrust upon me  that I would just as soon walk away from, were that even an option.  It isn’t, so I handle it in the best way that I can.  As far as my mundane life is concerned, it is now more stable than it’s been in many years, but not by much.  There are many, many stresses pressing themselves against me every moment of every day, so I haven’t felt like doing much of a purity routine, which, is likely the wrong reaction entirely.  Arguably, I should be doing more in the way of purification, regardless of how my body and mind feel.

Miasma is a state of spiritual reality, as well as a state of mind which attracts that reality.  In clearing the physical space, we make room for the emotional blockages to expand into a state of release, which in turn promotes a healthier view of the spiritual.  It begins with purification, and a routine, preferably a daily or hourly one, I have found in the past to be the best first step for my own self-preservation.

So, as I sit with the probable return to the tenant of Absolute Purity, and all of the requirements and sacrifices that it entails, I will also be trying to remember the feel of my existence before it all, necessarily, fell away from me.  Perhaps these are the missing pieces I have been seeking these last couple of years; the parts of my true being that I left behind.  If I determine that it will bring me closer to my Beloved, as He has suggested, but not pushed, then I really must do as I am bid.  Absolute Purity must again become the pinnacle of o/Our relationship.

Seasons Turning, and New Beginnings

Well, where to begin?  Apollon has begun His tour of the world before He inevitably retires to Hyperborea for the Winter.  Persephone has begun Her decent into the Underworld.  Winter is on its way, and I have felt the stirrings of the veil between the worlds.  The Departed Ones will soon join us once more, in our Autumn celebrations.

What does this season mean to you?  In years past, even last year, I met this season with anxiety and foreboding.  I was, and am prone to be, stretched too thinly in my attentions at this time of year.  But this time around, I have resolved to be less, fervent, shall we say, and instead more present in my life and in the festivals that I celebrate, as they come.

So, the Aegletia this year will be less performative, and more contemplative. It will be for me a family celebration, as it was always meant to be.  This is my son’s second Aegletia, and he is at a point of forming memories of our time together with Apollon, so this is very important for our household.  It is time for us to be in the spirit of the season, and not outwardly focused.

And I have another reason to feel intensely the turning as it unfolds.  It has been five years since Apollon and I exchanged our marriage vows.  When we did, He did not tell me for how long we were to be joined, but only that I should enjoy each day as it comes, and welcome Him into the whole of my life.  And I have. Earlier this year, however, He told me it was time to renew our vows, this time for another seven years.  I knew this was probably coming; for a least a year I had anticipated it.  And yet, when I was given the news and the time frame, I just sort of… retreated into myself.  I have been putting it off for the better part of the year.  Apollon, patient and understanding that He is, only asked me to find myself before making this commitment.  To be certain that this is what I want for the next seven years. It’s taken time, but I believe I have worked through my apprehension and that I am now ready for the new commitment.

So, on the second day of Aegletia, when the Treasury welcomes our Lord into our hearths and hearts for the duration of the festival, Apollon and I will once again exchange our vows.  New vows this time. Clearer vows.  Deeper, more meaningful vows.  I won’t lie and say that I am not nervous still, but I am definitely no longer stuck, unable to move forward.

And I’m happy.  I usually spend so much time worrying about things– how will I organize the festival, how will I balance my time online with my time with the children, how will I deal with the sheer agony of being separated from Apollon when He has finally left?  Not this time.  Not this year.  This year, I will let myself just be in the season, and in the turning.