Category Archives: The Trickster

Prayer to Hermes, for Secret Plots

Hermes

Hermes, Dear Hermes, I call to You.  You have known me for many years, and I have offered You love, wine, and much in-between.  You know the depth of my devotion, and the lengths to which I have gone to secure the favor of the Deathless Gods.  Hear me now, if it pleases You, and be a mover of obstacles in my path.

Hermes, Who aids in sly endeavors, I seek Your divine assistance.  If this venture pleases You, Swift One, I ask that You direct my action to its best outcome.

Hermes, God pulling the strings of human communication, please allow all my efforts and all my words to sway those who would otherwise obstruct me.

Hermes of the Ways, God of all the roads, please clear this path for me as I work to bring reverence to You, and to the other Deathless Gods.

Hermes, who is skilled in many clandestine arts, please grant me the abilities needed to weave this plan into existence.

Hermes, Magnificent Son of Zeus and Maia, please place Your divine hand over me, and shield me from the sight of the uninspired.

To You, Hermes, do I give this offering, a symbol of my passion and my commitment.  If it pleases You, do allow my plans to flower, to seed, and to be planted in many fertile gardens.

Blessed Hermes, Who is known throughout the world, Whose name inspires the never-ending search for knowledge and truth, He Who does not reject those who are sincere– please hear me this day, and please work with me to expand the reach of High Olympos, that all who seek the Deathless Ones will find a place just for them.

Hail Hermes!  Hail the God of Travelers!  And may I, and others, always honor the sacred journey!

 

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Black Guitar

And this song describes perfectly my relationship with Apollon.  Perfectly.  It’s a little bit scary how perfectly.  I post this one a bit reluctantly, as it’s kind of a personal song between the two of us.  But sharing it pleases Him.

It also pleases Loki for me to share a tiny, intimate snippet of myself like this. And since it’s July, I must abide. He seems to enjoy pushing my boundaries, but it’s not been unpleasant, so far. He’s been very encouraging of my continued harmony with Apollon. This is a much desired change from the previous year’s dynamic, and I really can’t say I’m having any problems. I hope it stays that way, naturally, but I’m not naive enough to think He won’t shake things up later, whenever He decides to.

So long as your mind falls for life then life will fall for you
And I will love you for another life and another you
But as long as you will shadow me then I won’t bear the fruits
That will want to make me love you another night and another you

Black guitar gave me a song
The role of your own demise awash my tears
If the sun may blind you
I find you the moon
No one shadows
The retina of your heart

So long as your eyes follow mine then mine will fall on you
And I will blind you for another night and another moon
But as long as you will battle me then I will stand accused
With a mind that will make you wonder is there a sun or is there a moon?

Black guitar gave me a voice
The famous last words all I hate is here
Moving onto urgent matters
In the end I didn’t die
In the end I didn’t die
No one shadows
The retina of your heart
No one shadows
The retina of your heart

Severance

Slight Trigger Warning:  It’s not bad at all, really, just thought I’d give the warning due to the discussion of sexual trauma.  This is the July post, the one I’ve been putting off all month, the only one I didn’t want to write, the only one Loki insisted that I had to write.  So, here it is…

~

Severance

I close my eyes in the dark, seeing only the flash of candlelight through my eyelids.  I touch my finger to the Runes in my lap, hearing Your Voice all the while:

“Sever the ties binding you to the past.  Break the chains which hold you hostage, and they will have no power over you.”

I know very well the “they” You speak of.  They are the men who have hurt me, all those who have left their mark upon me by stealing away my pride and self-compassion.  Can anyone know how much a raped woman hates herself? How her beauty, her skin, her very flesh, becomes a betrayal of her truest self? Can anyone know how much she wants to die?

My thoughts descend into that madness, once again, the reviled emotions. But, You know.  You, above all others know, and that is why You have come.

“Do it!”  You command.  Shaking, I place the first Rune upon the diagram I have drawn out for You.  A spiraling web of unfortunate events, descending into my core, far back, deep into the past.  There, in the center… Kenaz, the torchlight, the fire of my soul.  I place the Rune there, and I am filled with the drive to continue for the first time since we began this dance of destruction.

“Severance,” I whisper to myself, and You nod.  “Severance,” I whisper once more, while placing the next Rune upon the web… and the next… and the next… again and again, together with the sound of severance on my lips, until the web gleams orange from the candlelight flickering upon bright carnelian.

Finally, I have marked the path that shall take me back to the lost, abandoned pieces of my soul, so I may sever them from the grasp of those wretched memories, and You kiss my cheek, smiling in that playfully dangerous way.

“There are no chains, but those we place upon ourselves,” You state, as sure as ever.

The tears come then, flowing like white water, crashing upon the rocks of my rage, as I again relive the trauma… the pain.  Severance.  No longer shall the unworthy claim any part of me.  And no longer will I give them any power.

I close my eyes, letting the tears soak the diagram beneath my clenching fists. This is not how it was supposed to be.  Tears were never in the plan… not in my plan, at least.  But, as I peel back my strained eyelids, carrying both my power and my pain, I am met by Your steady gaze, and the feel of Your hands grasping mine.

“Do… It…”

So, I do… and I feel myself shatter.  The sensation is familiar, one which I have experienced many times, and instinctually, I begin to pull the broken pieces back together.  From all around, they come.  From way down deep in my core, they come.  All the broken, pretty pieces come.  But, trailing behind them still are the traumas, which even now, desperately cling to the broken pieces.

“Severance!” You shout into my ear, and I am again renewed with purpose.

My arms raise; one to embrace the pretty pieces, the other to slice away the web binding them.  And with sharp, red talons, I sever them all.  When it is done, I am whole once more, basking in the glory of my own sacredness, and I look toward You to see Your self-satisfied smirk…

~

Oh, Fearless One, I thank You, for teaching me not to fear what needs to be done.  All hail Loki Laufeysson, from this day until Ragnarok comes, and forever after!

Lesson #1: Reclaiming Lost Power

If I had to choose one central theme in the stories and lives of those Lokeans whom I have the privilege of knowing (and reading), it would be that of the reclamation of their own power and personal authority, of seizing the reigns to the chariots of their lives.

I have read many stories of people, newly dedicated to the god, finding the strength and motivation to leave unhealthy and downright abusive situations, directly from their interactions with Loki.  The god I’ve come to know is a god dedicated to harmonious family life, as well as the safety of His folk.  He abhors domestic conflict, and when it threatens to extinguish the fires of love and understanding here in my own home, Loki is often the first to extend the olive branch, the first to offer a compromise, or a reconciliation.  And I love Him dearly, because His mere Presence is often enough to smooth over any strained situation.

It amazes me how Loki is so well suited to redirecting my husband’s foul moods into laughter and good cheer.  I think Loki’s influence here has actually been more beneficial to my husband than to me, directly.  Which really should not be a surprise.  When the hubs and I first met, I told him I was a witch studying under Loki.  His response was to show off the huge, flaming chaos symbol tattooed onto his shoulder, right before proclaiming his atheism.  Go figure.  He and Loki seemed destined to meet and interact at some point.

But getting back to the subject…  Having Loki here has truly been more of a blessing than a curse.  Certainly, it was hardest in the beginning to adjust to His necessary changes, and I fought against them tooth and nail.  But then, He isn’t called the Breaker of Worlds for nothing.

Loki literally destroyed my entire universe for a while there.  But, it was only through those shattered fragments of my former life, that I was able to finally see the terrible emptiness which I had been languishing in, and all the parts of myself that were no longer needed.  And now, after the storm has passed, I see that the resulting deluge has flushed away all which was stagnant, leaving only purity and health behind to host the seeds of change.

And that change, though incredibly frightening, was absolutely necessary.  I never could have claimed true happiness otherwise, because the old roles were far too constraining.  Now, I am free.  Free in a way that I wasn’t before He swooped in and touched my life.  Free in a way I didn’t even know I should be.  And that right there is my reclamation, my lost power… which had been lost to the burdens of service, with too little love.  Thanks to Loki, there exists now a proper balance in my Relationships, and I am grateful, therefore I honor Him.  :)

Hail Loki Laufeysson, with the Silvertongue!  The Most Cunning of Tricksters! The Fearless, and Relentless One!

For Love of Duty

So, hopefully this will be the last of such incredibly personal posts concerning my divine relationships.  But, since you have all been patient with me (or perhaps just laughing quietly to yourselves) as I flailed around in confusion, I thought you deserved one more update before my wellspring of Apollonian inspiration starts to really flow again.

After much prayer and soul-searching, and after many conversations with my household gods, I’ve come to the realization that my duty to Apollon is very real, and is a valuable asset and motivator for both himself and I.  This relationship is not one which can simply be walked away from, by either of us. But most importantly, neither of us wants to walk away.

I will readily admit to feeling terror at the thought of abandonment by my Beloved god.  I genuinely thought that he might feel disgusted by me, because of my obvious weakness for, and attraction to the Norse Trickster. But, you know what?  From the very beginning, Apollon expressed a total confidence in me that I believed was not only unrealistic, but unwarranted.

I’ve only been devoted to Apollon for a couple of years, even though he has been a constant in my life since before I can remember.  Before the Prince swooped down and staked his claim, I was frolicking happily with Dionysos. I mean, I have to be honest about what happened.  Apollon literally snatched me from the arms of the first male deity I ever trusted.  Wtf was that?  And I was just barely starting to overcome the *god-fear that is so prevalent within the goddess-centered religion I practiced at the time.  I have sometimes wondered, ‘What if I made a mistake?’ or ‘What if we moved too fast?’

Apollon had no compassion in that situation.  For him, it seemed I was ready enough, and thanks to Dionysos’ work with me up to that point, I was able to recognize Apollon for who he really was… and to see which parts of myself were reflections of his divine will.

Every major event in my life has been shared with my Lord Apollon, and here is a prime example.  I gave my physical virginity away to the god while he had surreptitiously hijacked the body of my then-boyfriend, as he was wont to do, occasionally.  There are also the events surrounding my birth, and a hundred other smaller, yet no less significant experiences that have been shared between us over the years.

Years.  Gods, when I say the word aloud it gives me chills, because so much time was spent with my Lord during that period of many years, but with a complete lack of recognition on my part.  But, Apollon already had a plan by then (requiring zero recognition from me, I might add), which he was actively working toward.  It is his careful shaping of my life for his purposes that sustains the core of my duty to him.  He chose me, for whatever reason and by whatever method he uses to choose his devotees.  Even if I momentarily entertained the idea of walking away… then, now, or in the future, I could never (for long, anyway) ignore the calling of my Beloved god.

My Prince chose to trust me, and to shape/order my life according to his will, and the wisdom of Zeus.  Such a beautiful and generous gift will not go unrecognized, or unappreciated by the likes of me.  Besides, there is a time and a place for everything, and consistent divination tells me that waiting (and being patient) will give me what I want in the end.  And what is it that I want in the end, you ask?  Well, dear reader, the answer to that question is between myself and the gods.  ;)

~

*I’m not saying it’s the fault of Wicca that so many Wiccans seem to go through a “godless” or “goddess only” phase.  That seems more likely to be a holdover from the Christian trauma of their pasts, as it was with me. Though that, too, may not be the case for each individual.