Tag Archives: Apollonian

For Love of Duty

So, hopefully this will be the last of such incredibly personal posts concerning my divine relationships.  But, since you have all been patient with me (or perhaps just laughing quietly to yourselves) as I flailed around in confusion, I thought you deserved one more update before my wellspring of Apollonian inspiration starts to really flow again.

After much prayer and soul-searching, and after many conversations with my household gods, I’ve come to the realization that my duty to Apollon is very real, and is a valuable asset and motivator for both himself and I.  This relationship is not one which can simply be walked away from, by either of us. But most importantly, neither of us wants to walk away.

I will readily admit to feeling terror at the thought of abandonment by my Beloved god.  I genuinely thought that he might feel disgusted by me, because of my obvious weakness for, and attraction to the Norse Trickster. But, you know what?  From the very beginning, Apollon expressed a total confidence in me that I believed was not only unrealistic, but unwarranted.

I’ve only been devoted to Apollon for a couple of years, even though he has been a constant in my life since before I can remember.  Before the Prince swooped down and staked his claim, I was frolicking happily with Dionysos. I mean, I have to be honest about what happened.  Apollon literally snatched me from the arms of the first male deity I ever trusted.  Wtf was that?  And I was just barely starting to overcome the *god-fear that is so prevalent within the goddess-centered religion I practiced at the time.  I have sometimes wondered, ‘What if I made a mistake?’ or ‘What if we moved too fast?’

Apollon had no compassion in that situation.  For him, it seemed I was ready enough, and thanks to Dionysos’ work with me up to that point, I was able to recognize Apollon for who he really was… and to see which parts of myself were reflections of his divine will.

Every major event in my life has been shared with my Lord Apollon, and here is a prime example.  I gave my physical virginity away to the god while he had surreptitiously hijacked the body of my then-boyfriend, as he was wont to do, occasionally.  There are also the events surrounding my birth, and a hundred other smaller, yet no less significant experiences that have been shared between us over the years.

Years.  Gods, when I say the word aloud it gives me chills, because so much time was spent with my Lord during that period of many years, but with a complete lack of recognition on my part.  But, Apollon already had a plan by then (requiring zero recognition from me, I might add), which he was actively working toward.  It is his careful shaping of my life for his purposes that sustains the core of my duty to him.  He chose me, for whatever reason and by whatever method he uses to choose his devotees.  Even if I momentarily entertained the idea of walking away… then, now, or in the future, I could never (for long, anyway) ignore the calling of my Beloved god.

My Prince chose to trust me, and to shape/order my life according to his will, and the wisdom of Zeus.  Such a beautiful and generous gift will not go unrecognized, or unappreciated by the likes of me.  Besides, there is a time and a place for everything, and consistent divination tells me that waiting (and being patient) will give me what I want in the end.  And what is it that I want in the end, you ask?  Well, dear reader, the answer to that question is between myself and the gods.  ;)

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*I’m not saying it’s the fault of Wicca that so many Wiccans seem to go through a “godless” or “goddess only” phase.  That seems more likely to be a holdover from the Christian trauma of their pasts, as it was with me. Though that, too, may not be the case for each individual.

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Apollonian Inspirations

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Endowment

There is art in the way you move
The way your hand curls ‘round the pen
The way your wrist paints the masterpiece of words

There is grace in the way you pose
How you bare your soul onto the page
How you pour the ache of love unbidden into motion

There is power in the way you know
What lay deep on the unrequited path
What stillness lurks in the untamed heart

There are secrets woven between the lines
Those which stir my passions
Those which strike my inhibitions

And there is more, that which I can not name
Only feel, when the spell is cast
Only long to touch, when my spirit reaches toward the zenith of your endowment

For you must be a merciful one
To spare me the quiet death of an untouched heart
To guide me through the hallowed halls of myself, and bring me spiraling back

Into your blissfully articulated creation

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Midnight

You hair pools around me
As you lay in my lap
I run my fingers through the silky strands
Dark, as the midnight of our love

Your eyelashes flutter
And I stare into the endless forest
Where I am met by the Wild One
And his untamed lust

My breath quickens
Eyelids grow heavy
Your fingertips trail my arm
And before I can open my eyes

You are once again above me
Searing me with soft lips
Possessing my body, my mind
Drowning me in fragrant, carnal pleasure

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Soul of the Strings

Your strings carve their way through hardened fingertips as I flutter my wrist Wrenching the anguish from the souls of the sophisticates
My lithe hand curls round the bow with the elegance and precision of a calculated crescendo

The resonance gathers inside your hollow curves, springing from the recesses of my human soul
The scent of rosin drifts like stardust on our wave, thrust into battle by your equine blade

A cascade!
Five hairs break loose in the fray, dancing like serpents as we charm them
We sway and they sway, we yearn and they yearn, we give and we take away

We are the wood stained red, and the strings pulled tight
The bow, piercing through the smoky light
We are the artist caught in the rapture of sound
High on A minor, never leaving the ground

Applause!
Our prize, it has come as they rise, eyes brimming with joy and with pain
On the stage we stand with our weapon in hand
You and I, we are one and the same

Heartless, Tempest, for they are all slain,
And next movement we’ll slay them again

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Surreptitious

Do not tease
Do not follow me with such surreptitious desire
Be open, and give yourself wholly unto me

My flesh aches to know what darkness clouds your eyes
When you think of me
So, you must not tease

Do stars not burn?
Do hearts not yearn?
Let us

Let us feel impending heights
Then, let us crash
Into one… smoldering… heap

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Hail Apollon, blessed Lord of the bow and song.  From you, inspiration originates, and from you, I receive my talents.  Thank you, my Lord, for gracing my life with your presence, and especially for the granting of this poetic gift.  My love for you is unmatched, unrivaled, and unequaled by any other, human or divine!