So, I am not fortunate enough to personally know any other devotees of Apollon, meaning I don’t have many stories with which to compare my own experiences of the god. Which is a real drag for me, but only seems to amuse my Lord, since it was his desire that I learn directly from him, experiencing him myself, with no one else’s opinions to be used as a qualifier, or a filter. I can see the logic in this, but knowing a little of what to expect might have helped me get past the initial shock of my first encounters with the Wolfish Apollon.
You see, I was already familiar with Apollon as the Raven, and with Apollon as the Serpent. I grew up surrounded by those aspects of the god. It was the Wolf that I needed to become acquainted with, and the Wolf is not very much like the Mouse.
One thing I’ve noticed though, is that apparently this aspect of Apollon’s personality is disputed by some. Really? Apollon’s name means Destroyer, and there is a dispute regarding the more obviously dangerous parts of his nature? Seriously?
He is the god who sees all the paths of time clearly, and he is the Worker From Afar, who often destroys parts of us, or parts of our lives that he sees as a hindrance to our growth. Humans can not see so far ahead, and thus we whine and complain when he changes our lives, unknowing of the improvements he has made on our behalf.
But he does not have to stay far back, and will often dive right into a person’s deepest hurts and traumas. Because, dear reader, Apollon, the Prince of Olympos, is just as comfortable wading through the darkness of our hearts, as he is reveling in the enlightenment that he himself provides. That is why he is able to pull even the dredges of society back toward his light, to truly help us become better than we were.
Apollon is a liminal god, one who exists between, within the realm of shadow. Which is to say, the space between darkness and light, for he has mastered both. How else can we appreciate his light, if we do not also glimpse the darkness that is his to unleash? How will we be able to understand and appreciate his kindness, if we are not also privy to his wrath?
My Lord is not all light and healing, and emotional reserve. Yes, those things are a part of him, but they are not all of him. I can not say whether knowing this part of his nature is positive or negative, because knowing him like this has brought me both pain and joy in equal measure. So, perhaps not all of his humans are meant to know him thusly, and that’s okay. However, I do believe that Apollonian devotees should at least be aware that moderation does not necessarily equal repression, and that Apollon is, in fact, an incredibly passionate god. A god without passion could never lead the Muses, and Apollon is the most passionate god I’ve ever known. But, perhaps I am biased, being his absolute possession, and all.