Tag Archives: fear

The Avoidance of Compassion is Cowardice

The avoidance of compassion is cowardice

Those who seek to plumb the depths of the Divine

Must have stronger spines than this

What do you seek with your heavy hand and cold heart?

That which the Gods do not yet know?

We have known the Heaviness

And the subsequent Emptiness

Cast the humans away, and they will go away

Seeking not the Gods of the merciless

~

You, the fearful ones

Fearing humanity

Fearing your animal nature

Fearing your faults

Fearing that which binds you all together

Forgive yourself, human

For being human

And forgive your brethren

Advertisements

Lesson #2: Don’t Fear Your Beauty

Warning:  Some people may find this to be a rather vacuous post.  *shrugs*

~

For a while now, I’ve donned the veil.  It wasn’t immediately out of religious obligation, but rather out of practicality.  After I began covering, however, I noticed the changes in attitude of those I interacted with, and was extremely pleased to see that I was not being looked over quite so much by random, strange men.  It kind of made me mad to have to cover myself just to receive a modicum of respect, though, since I’ve never been an outwardly flashy person.

I don’t wear make-up most of the time, and I have a very subdued sense of style (if you want to call it that).  I do not enjoy having my bits hanging out all over the place, and I never have. Therefore, I dress modestly, plainly even, in a way that is comfortable for me, and in which I feel safe, and secure in my own power and femininity.  Which has been wonderful, but as you all know, things have changed around here, and I found out pretty quickly that Loki doesn’t like plain.

The first thing He asked of me, before anything else, was for me to beautify myself for Him, in some small way.  I hesitated for a good long while, going back and forth with Apollon about what would be too much, and whether or not I should do it at all.  I was apprehensive, and not just because of my Lord’s opinion.

I seem to attract the worst kind of attention, so the prospect of changing even the slightest thing about my carefully crafted appearance was terribly stressing.  Obviously, fancy hair-styles were out of the question, as were a number of other things.  But, at the end, right when I thought I’d ask Him to stop throwing out suggestions, He smiled and said:

“You could paint your nails red, for me…”

I was stunned by the simplicity of it, for it was perfect, and in a very small, only slightly noticeable way.  Only my human husband questioned the new penchant for color.  He thinks it’s a waste of time, since the paint gets chipped off during the domestic work.  I did too, at first, especially since re-applying the polish every two to three days is tedious and time consuming. But wasn’t that the whole point?  To take the time to make myself look nicer, even if all it did was make me and my gods happy?

Indeed.  That was the whole point.  And, as it turns out, my Lord Apollon has also become quite fond of the ritual, as He has always loved the color red… and me in it.  ‘Twas the first mutual agreement They ever had with one another, in regards to me, and it’s been all uphill from there.  Once They realized They could agree on something

For instance, I’ve begun rearranging my closets, pulling out clothes that I haven’t worn in a long time.  Even a few things which survived the fire all those years ago.  Things that I wore back when Loki and I first met.

I didn’t even realize I still had most of that stuff.  Some of it is truly too outrageous to be worn now, but most of the clothes are just what I needed to spice things up a bit.  It’s been fun getting reacquainted with the part of me that loves adornment and self-decoration.  It’s also been fun finding beautiful, new and colorful (often patterned) ways to cover, while still maintaining my modest ideals.  And I have a very special Trickster to thank for it.  :)