Tag Archives: Loki

Lesson #1: Reclaiming Lost Power

If I had to choose one central theme in the stories and lives of those Lokeans whom I have the privilege of knowing (and reading), it would be that of the reclamation of their own power and personal authority, of seizing the reigns to the chariots of their lives.

I have read many stories of people, newly dedicated to the god, finding the strength and motivation to leave unhealthy and downright abusive situations, directly from their interactions with Loki.  The god I’ve come to know is a god dedicated to harmonious family life, as well as the safety of His folk.  He abhors domestic conflict, and when it threatens to extinguish the fires of love and understanding here in my own home, Loki is often the first to extend the olive branch, the first to offer a compromise, or a reconciliation.  And I love Him dearly, because His mere Presence is often enough to smooth over any strained situation.

It amazes me how Loki is so well suited to redirecting my husband’s foul moods into laughter and good cheer.  I think Loki’s influence here has actually been more beneficial to my husband than to me, directly.  Which really should not be a surprise.  When the hubs and I first met, I told him I was a witch studying under Loki.  His response was to show off the huge, flaming chaos symbol tattooed onto his shoulder, right before proclaiming his atheism.  Go figure.  He and Loki seemed destined to meet and interact at some point.

But getting back to the subject…  Having Loki here has truly been more of a blessing than a curse.  Certainly, it was hardest in the beginning to adjust to His necessary changes, and I fought against them tooth and nail.  But then, He isn’t called the Breaker of Worlds for nothing.

Loki literally destroyed my entire universe for a while there.  But, it was only through those shattered fragments of my former life, that I was able to finally see the terrible emptiness which I had been languishing in, and all the parts of myself that were no longer needed.  And now, after the storm has passed, I see that the resulting deluge has flushed away all which was stagnant, leaving only purity and health behind to host the seeds of change.

And that change, though incredibly frightening, was absolutely necessary.  I never could have claimed true happiness otherwise, because the old roles were far too constraining.  Now, I am free.  Free in a way that I wasn’t before He swooped in and touched my life.  Free in a way I didn’t even know I should be.  And that right there is my reclamation, my lost power… which had been lost to the burdens of service, with too little love.  Thanks to Loki, there exists now a proper balance in my Relationships, and I am grateful, therefore I honor Him.  :)

Hail Loki Laufeysson, with the Silvertongue!  The Most Cunning of Tricksters! The Fearless, and Relentless One!

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Envy

Sometimes, I am oh so envious of the ease with which some of my friends share their experiences with the Trickster, as well as their palpable and contagious love for him.  They make him sound, not necessarily easy to love, but certainly worth all the trials they’ve been through in order to be loved by him.  And I have to say, though he hasn’t always made me comfortable with his presence, I’ve had such a blast having him around.

And, wow, is he ever present!  Not even the Prince (as devastatingly enrapturing as he is) comes through as clearly in physical space as Loki does. I’m not even that close to the god, so he must be really intense with those who are.  My mortal brain can’t even truly fathom what that must feel like, since Apollon keeps a fair distance most of the time, even when I know he’s “right here” beside me.

Speaking of right here… Apollon has finally returned from Hyperborea, and I am so happy!  I welcomed my Lord home yesterday, and there is this change of energy in the air now.  I imagine he’ll be here a lot more often, but the Prince is a double-edged sword.  He will love and comfort me, while at the same time Working me to the bone.  It’s what he’s done for the last two years, so I don’t expect this one to be much different, in that regard.  I’m going to be a busy Queen in the coming months, which makes the bouts of Lokean silliness I’ve experienced recently all the more fun and memorable.

Loki managed to ruin a batch of homemade biscuits the other day by making me drop a whole stick of butter into the mixing bowl with the dry ingredients. But (surprise, surprise), he was there to save me from my frustration by altering the recipe a bit. And the biscuits turned out wayyyy better than they would have without his… assistance.  Loki’s recipe is now (not surprisingly) the one I’m using from now on.  And he did the same to a box of store-bought brownie mix, the day after.

He “accidentally” caused me to put in three times the amount of water than was called for, then he sweet-talked me into adding some dark chocolate powder, cinnamon and almond.  I baked it in a cake pan, per his request and, well… it turned out crunchy on top (?), moist and dense in the middle(??), and perfectly yummy(???).  I ended up topping it off with some cherries I had leftover from that morning’s french toast.  :P

And some people say there is no rhyme or reason to his chaos…  lmao  At least in my case I know he’s just here to get fed!

The point to all of this (there’s a point?), is that I want to also have a similarly light-hearted relationship with Apollon, which of course, makes me wonder why the Prince even puts up with me.  In contrast to my Lord, I am not all “serious business”, all the time (not even most of the time).  I like to make jokes and poke fun, and laugh hysterically at nothing and everything in particular.  It’s almost as if Loki showed up again just to make that point; that I may in fact be the pure, chaste vessel that my Lord requires, but I’ve also got one heck of a raunchy sense of humor, and in the interest of balance, I ought not deny it.

Hail Apollon!  Hail Loki!

Apperently, I Still Remember the Names of the Runes

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I made a roast with carrots and potatoes for Noumenia Dinner last night, and after the Olympians (plus Hades and Persephone) were given their portion, I offered a generous amount to Loki, as well.  After all the clean up was finished, and I could relax, Loki came to tell me how he enjoyed his dinner.  I was surprised.  I didn’t really expect to see him until tomorrow or the day after that, since the day was mostly spent with Apollon.  We ended up chatting for about twenty minutes, at the end of which, I was instructed to dig out my carnelian runes that I haven’t touched since 2005.

I wasn’t expecting any kind of connection to them, and they did lack most of the energy I’d previously imprinted them with.  All I could feel was a vague sense of them still “belonging” to me.  The thing that really surprised me, though, was that I could still remember their names.  Oh, it took a lot of thinking to get some of them (like Ansuz), but most were just half a thought away, stored in some amazing repository of little-used information.

Wynn was the first rune I pulled from the pouch, and after my initial reaction to say “Perth” (because Wynn resembles the letter “P”), I corrected myself, much to Loki’s satisfaction.  And having studied nothing of Norse Mythology in the last decade, I know not if Loki has any connection to the runes outside of him simply being a Norse deity, but I was happy to have his approval, all the same.

Oddly enough, I first started learning divination with the Runes.  I had tried Tarot before then, but had been utterly rejected by the cards.  It wouldn’t be until years later that I finally developed a practice with the Tarot.

My runes teacher was a wonderful, tough and wise old lady who got plenty of requests to teach almost everyday.  She turned away almost all querents the entire time I knew her, until one day, she offered to teach me. It never even crossed my mind to ask her, as I wasn’t really interested in anything Norse, but she insisted I had what she was looking for in a student.  I had great respect for this woman, so I accepted her offer.  I ended up learning a lot from her, and not just about the runes, but I digress.

Anyhow, the point Loki was trying to make with me, I think, was that no matter what I currently feel about the Norse divination system, I still retain at least some talent and memory from past experiences with the runes.  I’m interested in getting more practice with them now, having been so inspired.

So, I guess this renewed relationship with Loki is already bearing fruit. Fruit that, as a diviner, I can actually eat… so to speak.  Wait a minute.  Did that sound alright to you?  Because I got a really naughty image in my head just now, when I typed that…

Queens Don’t Just Fall Apart

In the comments section of my previous post, one of my wonderful new Lokean friends expressed delight at my level-headedness throughout this perfectly confounded situation.  At first, I didn’t think anything except what a totally awesome compliment it was (thanks, btw), even if inside I was in turmoil.  But, I continued to project that sense of security in myself, and in my decision making abilities, because, after thirty years of life I am positive that crying only works for babies.

To anyone who doesn’t know, I’m on a path of Sacred Queenship.  It’s what I am.  It’s what I do, and my Work for Apollon and the other gods is, and has always been, a reflection of that archetype.  Strength and Sovereignty are qualities that the Prince himself has drilled into me.  That is why he wasn’t/isn’t upset with my decision to allow fair play between himself and the Trickster.

Obviously, he’s confident in his ability to retain my complete devotion.  I could expect no less from Apollon.  But, more importantly, I’m confident in myself, and my ability to choose well.  I am what Apollon has shaped and moulded, after all, and I’m doing exactly what is expected of me.

To take control, and to rule over all would-be obstacles; to set them into a useful motion by transforming any seeming disadvantage into an advantage. Another way of looking at it, might be to say that I make the unwelcome situation work for me, often by skillful negotiation.

A Queen must be focused and reserved, quickly using wit or charm to cut through to the heart of a matter.  She must be aware of the weight of her words, and the length of her glances.  And for me, in this situation, I must never forget that Apollon sees more, and farther than I.

I take my title seriously, with all its implications of noblesse oblige.  Therefor, I must conduct myself accordingly.  Which means, of course, no more whining and no more tears.  What do I have to cry about, anyway?  I’m loved, and all I’ve ever wanted was to be loved.

Foreign Gods

Okay, so the other day I was in the city making meals for homeless people and hanging out with some self-described hipsters and progressives.  All very nice people.  Well, this one guy, who called himself a Marxist/Atheist/Buddhist (wow, what a label) asked me if my polytheistic religion precludes belief in the deities of other cultures.  He seemed to think that all religions were like Christianity, in that they deny all manifestations of divinity save for their own, and was so shocked by my answer that I don’t think he believed me.  He immediately went into a tirade about how he hates being witnessed to (where did that come from?), and I quickly had to tell him that most Pagans and Polytheists don’t proselytize, to which he seemed skeptically impressed.  He never did allow me to answer his original question, however.

Since the incident, I’ve had time to reflect on my personal experiences with gods from Pantheons outside my own.  I do have a few.  Two gods from both the Norse and Egyptian Pantheons, and one who is oftentimes included in Christianity.  I’ll start with him then go on to the others, since he was the one who got me moving forward on the Path, after my last ditch effort to make a connection to the god of the Bible.

Lucifer

I used to talk to Lucifer about every little thing that bothered me about Christianity, from women’s obedience and gay issues, to the divinity/humanity of Jesus, and the fact that the god of the Bible is a schizoid maniac. He was a good listener, gave decent advice to a ten – twelve yr. old, and ultimately encouraged me to seek religious expression outside the confines of Monotheism.  From what I experienced, he is nothing like the Christians portray him to be.  He was both challenging and motivational, and was a source of strength when I was most in need.

Bastet and Isis

I was obsessed with Egypt as a young girl and teen.  I had images of Bastet all over my room, and drawn inside my school notebooks.  I knew nothing of her worship (or worship of any ancient gods) at the time, but I’m pretty sure I was worshiping her without even knowing it.  I had a little spot on my vanity for a small cat figurine that I associated with her, and I was constantly putting fresh dandelions next to it.  I’ve always been a cat lover, and whenever one of my cats has died, I’ve said a prayer to Bastet so that they might find her, and find peace.

My experience with Isis is much more brief, but very profound.  I’ve only called upon her for assistance once in my life, though I did study her myths for some time before hand.  It was through the myths that I came to know her as a nurturer of children.  So, one night, while I was babysitting a very restless and upset little girl (just over a year old), I called on Isis to help me calm her down enough to get her to sleep.  She and I sat together in front of my altar as I did this, and I swear, the change was instantaneous.  The baby started giggling and cooing, when previously she’d had only tears.  She fell asleep in my arms a few minutes later, and I have been extremely grateful to Isis ever since.

Odin and Loki

Now this one is weird.  I’m a writer and illustrator by hobby, and back when I was just out of high school I was working on this silly original manga, the title of which escapes me.  What I do remember, is that Odin and Loki were my main characters.  I have no idea what possessed me to name them thusly.  I don’t really think I did.  I think the two gods barged into my life through the manga of their own free will.  They certainly were a lot more developed than the other characters, and actually talked to me.

By this time I had been Wiccan for several years, but didn’t know anything about Norse Paganism.  I couple of months later, I would meet an Asatruar for the first time, who just happened to be a follower of Odin.  Before we parted ways for what would prove to be the final time, he carved and gifted to me a gorgeous image of Odin riding Sleipnir, out of a coconut shell.  I treasured it and kept in on my altar until sadly, the fire which prompted my move to Texas, destroyed it and everything else I owned at the time.

As far as Loki is concerned, he didn’t leave after I abandoned the manga, nor did he leave when Odin did, which was around the time my Asatruar friend moved away.  The god stuck around and was quite good company for a long time. I studied his myths and some of Odin’s, and was increasingly drawn in by him.  I set up an altar to him and made regular offerings of flowers and poetry. I was falling in love with him, there’s no doubt about it.

Then, when I met the man who I would later marry, Loki took an instant dislike to him, and attempted to destroy the relationship.  No, that’s not quite true.  I meant to say, he blew it the fuck up.  Scared the shit out of me.

After everything died down, I patched things up with the future hubby, and I haven’t been able to have anything to do with Loki since, even though I still feel that charismatic draw that only he has.  Also, because of our history (mostly the fact that I am apparently compatible enough with the god to actually fall in love with him) Apollon has forbidden me to speak to, or in any way make voluntary contact with Loki. Yep, he’s that particular god I think I’ve mentioned before.

So, to answer that Marxist/Atheist/Buddhist dude’s question, even though he’ll never actually read it, no, my belief in and love for the Olympians does not in any way preclude the gods of any other culture, foreign or otherwise. I don’t need to have direct experience of them all just to know that they exist. The fact that they have worshipers, and the fact that we are having discussions like this one, are proof enough.