Tag Archives: presence

Lesson #1: Reclaiming Lost Power

If I had to choose one central theme in the stories and lives of those Lokeans whom I have the privilege of knowing (and reading), it would be that of the reclamation of their own power and personal authority, of seizing the reigns to the chariots of their lives.

I have read many stories of people, newly dedicated to the god, finding the strength and motivation to leave unhealthy and downright abusive situations, directly from their interactions with Loki.  The god I’ve come to know is a god dedicated to harmonious family life, as well as the safety of His folk.  He abhors domestic conflict, and when it threatens to extinguish the fires of love and understanding here in my own home, Loki is often the first to extend the olive branch, the first to offer a compromise, or a reconciliation.  And I love Him dearly, because His mere Presence is often enough to smooth over any strained situation.

It amazes me how Loki is so well suited to redirecting my husband’s foul moods into laughter and good cheer.  I think Loki’s influence here has actually been more beneficial to my husband than to me, directly.  Which really should not be a surprise.  When the hubs and I first met, I told him I was a witch studying under Loki.  His response was to show off the huge, flaming chaos symbol tattooed onto his shoulder, right before proclaiming his atheism.  Go figure.  He and Loki seemed destined to meet and interact at some point.

But getting back to the subject…  Having Loki here has truly been more of a blessing than a curse.  Certainly, it was hardest in the beginning to adjust to His necessary changes, and I fought against them tooth and nail.  But then, He isn’t called the Breaker of Worlds for nothing.

Loki literally destroyed my entire universe for a while there.  But, it was only through those shattered fragments of my former life, that I was able to finally see the terrible emptiness which I had been languishing in, and all the parts of myself that were no longer needed.  And now, after the storm has passed, I see that the resulting deluge has flushed away all which was stagnant, leaving only purity and health behind to host the seeds of change.

And that change, though incredibly frightening, was absolutely necessary.  I never could have claimed true happiness otherwise, because the old roles were far too constraining.  Now, I am free.  Free in a way that I wasn’t before He swooped in and touched my life.  Free in a way I didn’t even know I should be.  And that right there is my reclamation, my lost power… which had been lost to the burdens of service, with too little love.  Thanks to Loki, there exists now a proper balance in my Relationships, and I am grateful, therefore I honor Him.  :)

Hail Loki Laufeysson, with the Silvertongue!  The Most Cunning of Tricksters! The Fearless, and Relentless One!

Advertisements

There’s Something About 2012…

I know it’s not just me having these feelings, which in some cases feel an awful lot like major revelations/UPG.  In September of 2011, I started this blog as a way of coming to terms with the title and responsibilities that I’d been running from for years.  I had no guide, no role model, nothing to assist me on this journey.  All I had were my gods and my wits.  (Which is really all I have still. I’m also coming to find that that is truly all I need.)  I didn’t know where to start, but I knew I had to get started before 2012.

There was an urgent need.  A very urgent need to begin practicing what I’d been called upon to do.  Nevermind that I had no clue, and no experience. The need was there and the Land was calling.

As the months passed between September and January, connections grew deeper and more intimate between myself and several of the trees on my property, and even a few who are not.  The spirits of place started listening to my prayers, and attending the libations I poured for the Deathless Ones. The feeling of Presence, of having that Audience is so terrifyingly humbling that it makes my stomach hurt to think about what an honor and privilege I’ve been entrusted with.  And then I have to be aware that these privileges can (and likely will) be taken away if I am not faithful to the Vision.

So, I did the Work, and I felt what the Land feels, when the spirits were so inclined to share that part of themselves with me.  And I began to learn, and to apply that knowledge with startling proficiency.  Eventually, though, and to my dissatisfaction, the Work soon took on a new component.  One which I was not at all confident I was ready for.  That was around the time I began receiving my first inquiries about what it is, and what it means, to walk the Path of the Queen.

And this is where we reach the true subject of this post.  The Queens.  There are so many of us, that I dare wonder if finding one another, and assisting each other in study and practice, and generally being able to understand each other, are the most valuable benefits of having this community of individuals, who by design, are walking similar Paths.

This is a sacred trust, Queenship.  Those whom I have come to know, those like me, are just as profoundly affected by the implications of this necessary Work.  I don’t know what the future holds for us, really, but I do know that many of us will be attempting to serve our gods (and our Lands) more publicly and openly in years to come.  But don’t expect anything anytime soon.  This year is only the beginning, as I’ve come to believe there are many, many more of us, yet undiscovered.

I see the world changing before my eyes, and I see myself as a part of that change.  What other changes are being discovered?  What have you seen? What have you noticed about the nature of this particular year, and that of the coming years?

Presence and Power

Today is one of those days when I am completely awed by the presence and the power of the gods.  I can see them working through us all, spinning lessons throughout the stories we tell, weaving empathy and understanding into our words, and helping us to co-create the world we see around us, so that others may also see.

How many of us have, through our writing, unexpectedly helped another person to understand some nagging thought or emotion, one that they just couldn’t put their finger on until we wrote that article on the subject?  Or those people to whom our words were simply a comfort, or a familiar experience?  Even if all we were trying to do was hash out our own thoughts or insecurities, and even if we continue to feel a bit out of sorts over them, we have still accomplished our gods’ work.

They are constantly touching and interacting with this world, through us, their people who share bonds of love and loyalty with them.  And we act as conduits of their power, whether we intend to or not, whether we are paying attention or not.  We assist our gods, and each other, by spreading their divine messages.

It is very telling to watch the people whose blogs I follow, as they expand on a single theme running through the Pagan blogosphere, giving us their opinions, as well as the lessons of their gods and spirits.  And it might be completely accidental on their part, since although many of us keep up with one another’s writing at least semi-regularly, I doubt all of the Pagan bloggers care quite so much about what is going on outside of their own experiences.  Which leads me to speculate on whether the gods themselves are directing the flow of thought in our communities.

Take me, for instance.  I never wanted to be any kind of ambassador for my god, but that is exactly what I have become through writing here, or so the Prince tells me.  This blog was his idea, anyway, so I can’t even really say I started it for myself, though I would like to think that was the reason.

Obviously, Apollon wanted to get a certian kind of message out there to his people.  I know that I bring a perspective, and a perception of him that is, if not at odds with, is certainly not on par with a lot of mainstream views.  It doesn’t even matter if anyone actually believes what they read here.  The fact, is that Apollon wants these things to be said, to be available for whomever needs to see them.  And I will do this.  I will write these things because my god asks me to, and because I love him.  His presence and his power compels me, just as that of the many other gods compels their own. And, if we’re lucky, we’ll all continue to soak up the lessons that individuals in our communities put forth, while our own perceptions are expanded by their openness, and sharing of their lives’ intimate details.

This is especially useful for me, as a common theme floating around these days is something that I’ve only just starting dealing with, myself.   I was in deep denial until I found some very insightful articles written on the subject, which helped me to see that there are people going through this, and that I’m not insane.  So, if that is all I ever get out of this co-created world of thought and experience, I will have been better off for it.

Actually, I think we’re all better off, because, let’s face it, who doesn’t like having their sanity reaffirmed?  And anyway, none of this would even be possible without the very real presence and power of the gods in our lives, and in our hearts.

Unexpected Experience

This happened several days ago, but while it’s still pretty fresh in my memory, I’ll tell you guys about it.

~

I worship Apollon all the time, but I don’t really have a steady relationship with his twin, Artemis.  Although I have worked with her before, my obligations to the goddess are typically fulfilled by daily prayers and libations to all the gods. Those few times that I have prayed to her specifically, she answered, but wasn’t entirely present in the same way Apollon, Aphrodite, Dionysos, or even Poseidon are present when I pray to them.

Well, I had a need the other day, and felt compelled to pray to Artemis and Apollon together.  I had never actually done this before.  Before that day, I’d strangely never even considered it.  But never the less, I called them both in clear speech, and with such confidence that I’m certain none of it came from my frantic mind.  I believe it was Apollon, speaking through me to his sister, as most of the petition was made toward her.  After speaking, and attempting to entice them for about five minutes, they arrived in the exact same moment.

I’m used to feeling Apollon intensely, but I was really shocked by the strength projected by Artemis.  She at once felt very similar to Apollon, yet very different.  They were so complimentary, like reflections of one another reaching deeply into my psyche.  I don’t think I understood until that moment just how essential they are together.

I know, I know.  Totally obvious, right? They’re twins, so of course they would compliment each other.  Well, I don’t always get the obvious stuff, right away.  lol  The experience was so remarkable, that it felt as though life itself were being squeezed into me, as opposed to out of me.

The two of them together were like a magnificent storm, swirling all around. I was encapsulated by their Power, surrounded entirely, when all of a sudden their divine energy poured into me, in answer to my petition.  Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to remain in a state of calm receptivity for long.  I had to get up and move, to do something about my problem, and I did.  It was quite an empowering and revelatory experience for me, and as I said, quite intense.

So, hats off to all those who honor Artemis and Apollon together on a regular basis.  I have only been given a glimpse of the complete picture that they represent.  That which you all know so well.

Hail Artemis and Apollon!