Tag Archives: purity

The Purifying Art

Today, a brief conversation with one of my Treasury Sisters via social media has brought my mind to the subject of purification, especially that which I do, or rather, that which I haven’t done enough of, for Apollon.

My relationship with Apollon is founded on many things; our desires, our Father’s desires for u/Us, the realities of our responsibilities coexisting and being balanced together, and more.  But it is also founded on a motto:  Absolute Purity.

I lived by this motto for a long, long time, through some of the most vile and impure situations of my life.  I kept a strict prayer schedule.  I kept my myself clean and free of miasma in body and mind.  However, there came a time when going through the motions was no longer carrying me through the purification process to His satisfaction, so I was instructed to set it aside for a time.  I did so, and I relaxed into a new state of being, one in which the rigorous pursuit of purity was no longer the pinnacle of our relationship.  I still did the little things, khernips and the occasional ritual bath, but the motto of Absolute Purity did not at that time, and since, rule my life as it once had.

The conversation I mentioned above struck a nerve with Apollon, possibly because I was lamenting His request to shave my head again.  I haven’t shaved in almost four years, since the last time I did so for Him.  I have been enjoying growing out my hair, and even feel a bit vain about it.  I can see that that is a problem.  Vanity is not attractive.  Pride in one’s appearance can be, but those are different things, with different connotations.  So, I am having a discussion with Apollon about where this knowledge takes me.  I know I need to sit with it for a while, to really process the probable direction of my coming focus.  Right now, I do not feel ready to reembark upon the strict nature of my purificatory obligations.  I am not in the best physical, mental or emotional health, to say nothing of the spiritual.

My Otherworld life is chaos, at the moment.  I have had many things thrust upon me  that I would just as soon walk away from, were that even an option.  It isn’t, so I handle it in the best way that I can.  As far as my mundane life is concerned, it is now more stable than it’s been in many years, but not by much.  There are many, many stresses pressing themselves against me every moment of every day, so I haven’t felt like doing much of a purity routine, which, is likely the wrong reaction entirely.  Arguably, I should be doing more in the way of purification, regardless of how my body and mind feel.

Miasma is a state of spiritual reality, as well as a state of mind which attracts that reality.  In clearing the physical space, we make room for the emotional blockages to expand into a state of release, which in turn promotes a healthier view of the spiritual.  It begins with purification, and a routine, preferably a daily or hourly one, I have found in the past to be the best first step for my own self-preservation.

So, as I sit with the probable return to the tenant of Absolute Purity, and all of the requirements and sacrifices that it entails, I will also be trying to remember the feel of my existence before it all, necessarily, fell away from me.  Perhaps these are the missing pieces I have been seeking these last couple of years; the parts of my true being that I left behind.  If I determine that it will bring me closer to my Beloved, as He has suggested, but not pushed, then I really must do as I am bid.  Absolute Purity must again become the pinnacle of o/Our relationship.

Many Layers

When Apollon speaks, His words are rigid and stinging, like an onion, and even more so due to the many layers of meaning behind them.  Oftentimes He weaves the meanings together so you can never quite tell which one He means, until after one or another has come to pass.  But sometimes, when you look deep into yourself, meeting your many expectations and fears head-on, you can see which possibilities are only mirrors for past failures, and which are worthy of striving toward.

He loves in layers, also.  His love is like a warm blanket, but with a static charge; soft, and clingy and maybe a little painful.  But when you are still, it holds the most comforting warmth imaginable.  When you peel the blanket away, the sting of static may distract you until the brisk air moves across your skin.  Then you remember that this, too, is another layer of Apollon’s love.

The distance.  The cold.  The loneliness.  You hear and feel only yourself. But you begin to shine in the darkness when you remember His warmth, comforting you, and you are illuminated from within.  Therein exists a relic of His touch, perhaps, and by this glorious light you can not escape self-examination, because the only thing you can see at all is yourself.

Looking into ourselves, we may be faced with questions of worth, questions of skill, questions of ambition, and so on.  But these are the questions that mold Apollonians, yet must we not forget that the answers are what temper us.  The answers are what truly make us great.  We are steel, repeatedly heated, folded, then cooled; made into a hard and useful metal.  Layered.

All life is an obstacle to be overcome.  But how do we overcome?  There are no standard answers.  The way in which I overcome is through stillness.  I let the waves pass over me.  I do not struggle.  I ride the storm– and the storm breaks, leaving behind only me, in my stillness.  This doesn’t mean that I expect to survive, of course, for what expectations can I, who am bound to Apollon, truly hope to fulfill?  Only His expectations.  If it is His will that I be destroyed in the seeking of greatness for Him and for our Family, then it shall be.  If His will lay elsewhere, then there is no reason to fear the storm.  It can not harm me.

In this way, I overcome my ego’s incessant need to know, to dictate, to act. I am not my ego.  I am the purity of Self which radiates out of this human form, thus I am Divine.  And so we all are, especially those who have been touched, those who are illuminated from within by the love of a God.

Love has many layers, and many moods.  Remember that moods change, like the weather and like the tides– and the Seasons, also.  The Seasons are changing again.  Apollon is returning soon.  So, if you feel cold and lonely now, depending on what His expectations of you are, you may soon be lamenting His enveloping heat, rather than His distant, frosty chill.

And His words are coming again, themselves stinging and stringent… and soothing and enlightening.  Apollon Himself is many things, made up of many layers, and He will cover us in them until we adapt, or suffocate.

My Love Is With Me

I need not fear, for my Love is with me

I am wrapped in His bloodied cloak

Infused with His essence

Dripping with the gift of His glory

My Love is with me, and I am free

I need not cower, for my Love is with me

I am shielded by His mighty arrows

Distant though He may be

His accuracy strikes supreme

My Love is with me, and I am still free

I need not submit, for my Love is with me

I am a diamond that can not be worn

Save for by a stone as hard, or harder

Only Apollon has met the measure

My Love is with me, and I remain free

I need not scorn, for my Love is with me

I am the whiteness of Holy Purity

The white light carrying the Holy Spectrum

His Tool, His Art

My Love is with me, but am I truly free?

I need not escape, for my Love is with me

I am the prize which was sought after

The tree which bends in the whirling wind

The Lord Apollon has captured me

My Love is with me, and I am no longer free

I need only pray, that my Love stay with me

I hope to be of favored use

To be of service, and to be loved

As it is His will

My Love is with me, and I do not care to be free